(He’s not just a pretty face)
I hear about relationship advice from women almost all the time. From men? Not so much. I decided to ask my husband for his top five pieces of relationship advice. The last one is pure gold.
- Be yourself– Don’t pretend to be someone who you aren’t. Celebrate your strengths but learn to embrace your weaknesses. Allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to show your true self to your partner. True love is based on authenticity, not pretense. This is the only way to have a truly rewarding relationship.
- When you so something for your partner, do it out of love-Instead of doing things for your partner with the aim of getting something in return, do them because you love them. Acts of love, no matter how simple or mundane they may be, benefit the receiver BUT they benefit the giver even more. I feel good when I do good unconditionally.
- Every once in a while, shake up your routine– If familiarity breeds contempt, then the best antidote to this is to engage in new activities and experiences every so often. Routine is important in establishing security but a break from routine keeps the sparks flying. Travel somewhere new, take your partner to a restaurant that you’ve never been to, go dancing, wear a new outfit to your date, etc. New experiences present an opportunity for you to see your partner in new light, making the relationship more interesting and exciting. They give a relationship extra mileage.
- Sex is important, but affection is vital-Great relationships are built on a foundation of great friendship. (At this point he smiles and quips: you can get sex anywhere, but love? That’s hard to find. Ha!) Sexual intimacy is of course important in almost all relationships, but I think that the feelings that you have for each other carry you through thick and thin. Sex is like a fast burning matchstick-quick to light up, quick to burn out. But a affection-a feeling of devotion and tenderness-is the slow-burning log that gives off warmth and light steadily through the darkest night.
- Love yourself– This, I believe, is the core of healthy relationships. If you treat yourself right, you will always treat your partner right. If you have issues with self-esteem, you will have behavioral problems which will negatively affect how you connect with your partner. Generally speaking, people who don’t love themselves are challenging to be around: they tend to be unhappier, constantly seeking external validation and affirmation. People who love themselves naturally seem to have a happier disposition and are therefore much more pleasant to be around.
What’s your best romantic relationship advice?